


The Band of Misfits play a gacha game

by Kyumika



Category: Tales of Berseria, Tales of the Rays (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Gacha game, I don’t even know anymore, Yup this is a complete parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-03-06 05:05:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13404075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyumika/pseuds/Kyumika
Summary: Shouting in frustration, Eizen launches his new found mechanical device at the wooden wall of the infamous Van Eltia while the bright screen made up from tiny pixels displaying 10 blue spheres. In the process of deleting the program'. "What the hell is this? Is the summoning system bugged out or what?"





	1. Eizen plays a gacha game

**Author's Note:**

> God help why did I write this lmfao. Well it’s pretty short and crap so why not.

Shouting in frustration, Eizen launches his new found mechanical device at the wooden wall of the infamous Van Eltia while the bright screen made up from tiny pixels displaying 10 blue spheres. In the process of deleting the program'. "What the hell is this? Is the summoning system bugged out or what?"

Watching Eizen hurl his treasured possession, Magilou decides to take this chance to rile him up further. "Must be the Reaper's curse again. No helping against that." She raises her eyebrows and shrugs, "it was your choice to play a game based on luck. Have fun with that." 

"Oho! Is Eizen playing that 'Tales of the Days' or whatever again?" A curious Rokurou appears after spotting a raging Eizen. His mind flashes back to when he requested Kurogane to make a double headed coin for Eizen yet it seemed like the Empyreans refused to allow Eizen to land on heads. Whether it be a crow, Prince Percival's Griffin or the coin blowing itself up, something always just happened to interfere with Eizen being able to finally land on heads. "That thing crashed on you again? Sucks for you man."

"... it's Rays. Tales of the Rays," Eizen murmurs, standing up to quietly pick up the device with long cracks decorating the glassy section which is apparently known as a 'screen', according to some sort of manual the pirate found with the strange other-worldly device. For the umpteenth time he hurls the device at that same spot after getting another ‘all blue’ which caused some cracks and dents in the wall, as expected of a Malak of his caliber. "Why can't I even get a stupid 4 star let alone get Edna's mirrage!"

"Just play something else. Can't a simple game like flappy bird satisfy you enough?" The raven-haired girl who was walking past with Phi and Eleanor happened to stumble upon Eizen's raging and decides to join up with the rest of the band of misfits because they thought 'why not?' 

"E-Eizen! Good luck with it!" The young Malakhim stares at him, eyes glimmering with determination. Surely if he tried to clear out the problem, it wouldn't bother him anymore. Surely, "We know how much you love your sister so I'm praying for you!"

The Earth Malak replies in acknowledgement of the younger Malak with a nod and revisited the page to download said game. "You should try one of my spells. Chant 'Oh Empyreans bless me with the adorable sister I love so much that I would take her for myself! I would bathe her in kisses and shower her in my lo-" Not even being able to comprehend whatever just happened, though she assumed correctly, the witch was flung over the ship by the Therion, her left arm bulging with each heavy breath she takes, clearly immensely annoyed by the witch's nonsense.

"I hope the sharks are hungry today or I'll eat her myself," Velvet mutters as Phi and the witch's partner desperately rush to the hem of the ship to help the poor girl back up. 

Spluttering salt water across the deck, Magilou crawls towards Velvet and tugs on her cape while dramatically yells, "Oh Velvet dear, did you seriously have to throw this pitiful, but marvellously gorgeous witch across the eleven seas? You could have been a teensy bit more gentle y'know? It's not as if my spell was fake or anything, right boy?" 

"Oh uh... Ye-" Shocked by the sudden question, Laphicet resorts to agreeing with the victim of the Therion beside her before being cut off by said daemon by being dragged away from the apparent 'bad influence. “W-Wait Velvet! Can’t I at least watch Eizen play...”

Velvet sighs, shrugging while walking away from the group to her own chambers. “Do whatever you like.”

Eizen is desperate. He would do anything to get his sister’s mirrage on a reroll. Even going as far as chanting one of the witch’s ridiculously useless chants. “Oh Empyreans bless me with the adorable sister I love so much... Uh... that I would marry myself! I would... bathe her with me and-” 

“Woah things are getting incestual here,” Rokurou whistles, somehow managing to teleport Velvet with her apparent previously-ultimate-enemy-but-now-best-friend back onto the deck, both instantly grabbing the child Malak by his collar with his arms flaying about, trying to grab onto anything he could. An awkward silence sits on the deck for the next few minutes. “Must be nice to have such kind and protective parents, Laphicet.”

Eizen continues to pull on the hundreds of reroll accounts he created with the other two sitting beside him keeping him company, though it seemed that the Earth Malak would rather have his mirrage of his adorable sister rather than have any company or anything at all, even.

“Eizen... It’s been a week since you’ve been sitting here playing. Don’t you think it’s time to have a break?” The Yaksha yawns, pouring himself a cup of sake, eyeing the witch that was lying on the ground, who had drifted off a couple of hours ago. “You’re way too dedicated. Maybe you should get someone else to pull her for you or buy an account or something.”

“N-nO. i CaNt LeT tHiS sToP mE!” Raging in the most huskiest voice ever, Rokurou wondered if he stayed here playing for another day, the malevolence from having terrible bad luck might possibly transform his ally into a dragon! He couldn’t let that happen. Luckily, a certain therion came out for the night and saved Rokurou and everyone on the deck’s ass from a possible dragon.

“Eizen. You’re going to sleep. And we are going to wherever you left your sister after you wake up if you don’t have her then. I can’t deal with a dragon right now. It’s unnecessary and too much effort.”

Grudgily, Eizen trods back to his cabin and was too tired to notice the girl had snatched his ‘device’. “God what is this game. Rokurou help me. You’ve been watching him for the past few days so you must know how to work this.”

“I know, alright.” He fiddles around with the device before having a rainbow laser beam appear in no time, handing the device back to Velvet. “There we go. Now I’m gonna go catch some sleep. Gnight.” 

Eizen was too exhausted to even bother locking his wooden door, allowing easy entrance for the daemon girl. She gently places the mysterious device beside the resting Malak and exits, returning to the ‘girls room’, relieved that a Malak catching daemonblight was prevented.


	2. Magilou plays a gacha game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tears streams down the witch’s face as she grabs onto the shirt of the therion. “GIVE ME YOUR PHONE I BEG PLEASE! I MUST PULL FOR ELEANOR AND VELVET! I NEED MY VELEANOR MIRRAGES PLEASE!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret everything? But Ayy I’m planning to break school rules as bamco decided to make the event begin while I’m in school. Can’t the 14:00JST thing happen again?

The entire ship is booming with shouts of frustration and cheers of glee. Yes, that’s right. The ‘device’ had been such a hit with the crew that they managed to loot enough ‘phones’ that the entire crew had one and pretty much every pirate and every Malak played the game.  
Hell, even Velvet had the game but she mainly played the simple games from Ketchapp because she was never really fond of a gacha system in the first place. 

“Oh man this event is such a chore to grind. I still have five tickets...”  
“At least you still have tickets. All of mine were all blue!”  
“I wanted Cheria but I got Asbel...”  
“Why can’t I get Nurse!”  
“OH MY GOD I JUST GOT THREE MIRRAGES IN ONE I’M CRYING!”  
“Man I hate you so much.”  
“Salt. Salt. Salt.”

The one sad girl known as the self proclaimed witch sits on the side all alone, farming as many diamonds as she can. Yes, she was sad as she was the only one, other than Eizen, who played on the Japanese server. Nobody else felt like dealing with the Japanese server as it was less friendly to free to players. However Magilou LOVED it. The game was especially friendly to pay to play players and we all know how much of a gambler Magilou is. She’d buy mirrogems whenever she managed to win a couple of bets and had some Gald to spare (in fact, if she had any Gald at all. She leeches off the crew’s savings anyway). 

It seems like a certain event is coming. One she had been hyped for since she joined the band of misfits.   
She was expecting it to come many many months later, however she was wrong. Oh how wrong she was. Magilou had just spent all of her Gald savings on the previous Estelle and Karol event as she had nothing to do so gachas just felt like the thing to do. And then the Eleanor event is announced. Including the rest of the released Berseria characters, Laphicet, Eizen and Velvet. She farms and farms until her vision goes all fuzzy. Even then, she continues. She continues for days on end, until Velvet appears with her claw out. She instantly grabs the phone and crushes it easily with the therionized adaption. 

“You’re doing nothing for us. I thought you had started to contribute more but this stupid device is getting in the way. For Empyreans sake why are you all so addicted.”

Tears streams down the witch’s face as she grabs onto the shirt of the therion. “GIVE ME YOUR PHONE I BEG PLEASE! I MUST PULL FOR ELEANOR AND VELVET! I NEED MY VELEANOR MIRRAGES PLEASE!”

“Nope. You’re going on a quest with us to hunt down Dire foes.”

“BUT-“

“Nope.”

“ILL HUNT THEM WITH YOU IF YOU GIVE ME YOUR PHONE!” She begs and begs and eventually Velvet gives up and chucks the witch the object she was dying for. 

“God and now shut up.”

Magilou instantly converts over her account using her Bandai Namco ID and prepares to pull for Eleanor and the rest of them, who are coming in two days. She decides to keep her promise for once and joins the rest of them on the field, channeling all her Hype energy into her magic energy. Never had Velvet seen a day when Magilou would be this focused and put this much effort into battling.


	3. Magilou and the New Years event

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “...” Magilou stares at the screen, speechless. “I can’t even anymore.” She buries her head into the pillow and hugs it tightly, not wanting to use the last 250 diamonds at this point.
> 
> “Well is this how you do it?” Velvet queries, tapping on the pull herself. Magilou keeps her head buried in the pillow nor wanting to see her pulls.  
> “It’s a rainbow light.” Eleanor states, rousing Magilou from her despair. 
> 
> “AHH IS IT VELVET OR ELEANOR!”
> 
> 5 star Eleanor. She proceeds to tap into the mirrage...

For the last 2 hours Magilou has been staring at the clock.   
Tick.  
Tock.  
Tick.  
Tock.

The agonising two hours had been hell. There was nothing to do. Why? Because Velvet decided to ban Magilou from her phone. Oh boy, and that was when Magilou understood the pain. 

Her heart beat rapidly at 7 in the evening, the time she organised to meet with Eizen to play the new Berseria event. But everything fucked up when Velvet came over the second the clock hit seven and snatched away the phone, declaring: “You’re too addicted. I’m going to confiscate this for two hours. Go find something better to do.” She wanted to at least see what the mirrages looked like but Velvet took him and Rokurou off to hunt some dragons with her. Her tears fell while yelling at the ‘mother-like’ therion: “I SWEAR ILL CURSE YOU. WHY CANT I HAVE IT BACK. PLEASE. JUST FOR AN HOUR!” But the therion just walked off dragging the boys with her. 

“Wait till I get back. God everyone’s so addicted these days.”

Tick.  
Tock.  
Tick.  
Tock.

“Don’t mind me asking but are you in all seriousness going to keep sitting there staring at the clock, Magilou?” Eleanor asks while tidying up the girls’ room. “Watching the clock isn’t going to help time pass any faster. Come on, help me out.”

“Helping you out isn’t going to make time pass any faster either... Ahhhh where’s that goddamned human eating monsterrr!”

Eleanor’s cheeks flare up and pauses he housework for a short moment. “Don’t call her a monster!”

“Wow what a hypocrite. What were you doing for the past few months?” Sighing the witch lays down on the bed Eleanor had just made, making the former exorcist throw her arms up in frustration. Knowing changing the witch’s ways were out of her ability, she relaxes and continues with her work.

“Yeah but that’s... That was then. I didn’t open my eyes to the horrors the Abbey was doing back then.”

“Why are you defending her anyway?”

Eleanor spins around, hiding her cheeks that blazed as red as her hair. “W-W-Why wouldn’t I? W-We’re allies, right?”

Sighing once again, Magilou continues. “Young maidens truly do have trouble showing their true feelings- Wait that’s wrong. Showing it’s not a problem. Admitting to it is. Look at yourself.” 

“I-It’s not like that!”

Magilou turns her head back to the clock realising that a couple of minutes actually had passed. Chuckling to herself, she decides teasing Eleanor was a great pastime. “Mhm? Then why are you going all red because of that?”

“B-Because! ...I wouldn’t have been able to say that a few weeks ago...”

“Yeah Yeah. What’s up with tsunderes these days-” Interrupted by a “We’re back!” from a certain someone, the witch slams open the cabin door and dashes onto the deck of the Van Eltia. “Velvet. Phone. Now.”

Shrugging, she chucks the desired object into the air before walking off to their room. “I’m going to have a break. Is Eleanor still cleaning? I’ll go help her out.” 

Using her guardian to grab the object that was a few metres up in the air, she runs as fast as she can back to the room and places herself on her previous seating area again, knocking over a few tables on the way, angering both of the other girls. “It feels like we’re taking care of a whole bunch of children.” Velvet states, looking over at the witch.

“Yes, indeed. This is probably what my mother felt when she was looking after me.”

“I’m sure you weren’t as much of an issue compared to this little brat.” Their gazes drift towards each other for a split second, before instantly looking away and continuing the work. A shame for Magilou for missing her moment. She was too immersed in the update screen. 

“I. CAN’T. BREATHE. LOOK AT THIS GAY SHIT BRO. MY OTP. I NEED VELVET’S MA SO BADLY HELP. BUT ELEANOR’S ONE TOO. I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE IN EACH OTHER’S MIRRAGES THIS IS SO CUTE!” 

Slightly intrigued at the mention of her name, she approaches the witch and takes a look at her screen to see an image of her helping Eleanor fix her kimono during the New Years Day. “Wait how did this game get this?” 

Noticing this was the first time Velvet actually made a comment on the game, this captures Eleanor’s curiosity, an uncompelling force dragging her towards the object of interest. “W-Wait. T-That time you were...”

Now even Magilou’s interest was sparked and that rarely ever happened. “That time she was...?”

“N-Nevermind!”

Magilou then proceeds to press the x10 pull option. Everyone held their breaths. No one honestly knew the reason why Velvet and Eleanor did but they did anyway. 

A laser beam shoots out.

It’s gold.

“FUCK MY LIFE OH COME ON.”

Five 4*. “Well that was the first pull. Never expect anything on the first one aha... I still have 1050 diamonds left anyway.”

She continues to pull.

3 4*

2 5*

6 4*

All blue.

“...” Magilou stares at the screen, speechless. “I can’t even anymore.” She buries her head into the pillow and hugs it tightly, not wanting to use the last 250 diamonds at this point.

“Well is this how you do it?” Velvet queries, tapping on the pull herself. Magilou keeps her head buried in the pillow nor wanting to see her pulls.  
“It’s a rainbow light.” Eleanor states, rousing Magilou from her despair. 

“AHH IS IT VELVET OR ELEANOR!”

5 star Eleanor. She proceeds to tap into the mirrage...

“Oh that’s Eizen’s voice, isn’t it?”

“FUCK I FORGOT HE WAS IN IT.”

Magilou in the depths of despair, runs off to the deck, screaming uncontrollably. Feeling obliged to single pull, the Exorcist decides to try her luck. “Hm a rainbow light again... Oh it was Eizen again...”

Noticing that Magilou only had enough for one more pull, Velvet looks at Eleanor and takes her hand before pressing the button with her. “It’s the last one so why not do it together...”

A blue laser beam...

But a rainbow background emerged... 

“Therion Velvet! I will defeat you!”

Seeing an image of her pointing her spear at noticeably Velvet’s sleeve, Eleanor couldn’t help but look away and blush. “I’m sorry for that back then. I didn’t know anything... I was just a stupid Praetor oblivious to the Abbeys true antics.”

“That’s not true. You just wanted to protect the people. That’s all that drove you to want to kill me.” Eleanor turns back to face Velvet, the hazel coloured eyes meeting the green. 

“DID YOU TWO WASTE MY REMAINING DIAMONDS? Oh fuck I just disturbed a Veleanor moment didn’t I? Fuck.” 

Noticing the close proximity, they both jump apart and turn away from each other. “W-What? W-We were just using the last of your diamonds together! N-Nothing strange about that!”

“We got you another Eizen and an Eleanor. Take a look yourself!” Even Velvet was blushing and stormed out of the room at the end of her statement with Eleanor following close behind. 

“Oh man the power of yuri truly does bring you good luck... BUT I STILL WANT VELVET’S MIRRAGE. I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THEIR COMBINED POWER WOULD HAVE BROUGHT ME THAT ONE INSTEAD. JUST LOOK AT HOW THEY’RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER! AAAAAAH!”

And thus, Magilou continues to farm diamonds and decides to let the two of them pull the banner together. 

She never got the mirrage.


	4. It happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magilou had hope. There was a chance.
> 
> She could do it. Keyword ‘could’.
> 
> All still relying on the 0.749% chance though.

It had been six months. Pretty much six whole months for as many days Magilou could count.  
  
The suffering, the grinding, the cries never stopped even for a moment from everyone’s _favourite_ witch. Oh god how much it frustrated poor Velvet and Eleanor who had to put up with Magilou’s screams of frustration every night whenever New Years Velvet was up for grabs. For 1% chance, that was.

Yes. Six whole months passed and no sign of that single Mirrage of New Years Velvet. Nope. Never. She had never seen that many copies of Velvet’s normal mirrage but never the one she wanted the most. She couldn’t say she was cursed; it was a blessing to even receive a 3* of Velvet with such low rates.

“Say... Velvet, you’re in that anime thing... What was it called? Tales of the Rays theatre?” Eleanor asked, swinging her legs off the side of the ship docked in Port Zekson.

“Oh that? Apparently the me in that world decided to help out.” Velvet nonchalantly replied, sitting closely beside Eleanor.

Meanwhile, the witch was lying on the deck, face shoved up against her otherworldly device that connected “that world” Velvet was talking about. A single game that told the crew about the events going on in the world, although Magilou dedicatedly played the game as what it should be, though she probably forgot that it was supposed to be entertainment, not a daily chore to farm diamonds for Velvet. After a few months of research, they realised that they had been exoflected into another world while they remained in their own world, creating duplicates of themselves, although the game does retrieve scenes from their own world for their so called Mirrages.

Magilou stood up, a feat that nobody thought she would achieve after lying on the deck for the past 3 days since the mini anime gacha appeared. More surprisingly, she had a pretty serious look, which you probably see twice in 60 hours of gameplay of Berseria, and hugged Velvet from the behind, shocking both El and Vel who were having the time of their life until the irrelevant existence butted in. “Velvet... I wouldn’t say this but... I thank the other Velvet with my soul for appearing in that anime which brought back this heavenly being.”

“Well go thank the other Velvet then. Wasn’t me. Didn’t you sell off your soul 6 months ago? Would be nice if you could stop embracing me or I’ll force you to.”

“Oh come onnnnnnn! If you didn’t exist, the other Velvet wouldn’t either.”

“And you wouldn’t be here crying over this stupid game you play 24/7.”

Magilou accepted defeat. What she said was probably true. She gave up everything for this Velvet who never came home. Though of course she was luckier than all the other players actually having the real one beside her (God I wish that were me)

“Does Eizen still play that game?” The red haired perked up, the two apparently going back to their spooning. “If I recall, he played the game first and then you joined in.”

“Oh hell yes he does. He’s got hundreds of thousands of diamonds all saving for that future Edna second mirrage. Strange that we haven’t seen any signs of her second MA even though she came out way back last year. I don’t know how he hasn’t given up on grinding yet.” Magilou answered, who had gone back to her game.

“And how haven’t you given up either?”

“Yeah... I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Poor Eleanor replied, although Velvet pretty much understood everything Magilou said. It wasn’t that she played or anything. Magilou just went on about it every single day it would be strange to not understand what she was going on about. But at least Velvet was glad that her Eleanor remained pure from this hell of a game.

“Well then Magilou, shall we see the fruits of your grind?” Velvet smirked and jumped off the side of the ship. Though it did frustrate her when it was well into her sleep, seeing the witch suffer almost always was sustainable entertainment. Sustainable as long as the RNG gods don’t give her what she wants.

Magilou had grinded for a good few days and it was finally the last day of the gacha. All her half price pulls the previous days resulted in rather decent members however it wasn’t New Years Velvet.

The beautiful crystals sat in the corner of her phone glistened with the numbers 4100. “Alright...” She spent her first 100 gems.

“Seriously?? Mileena again? **G o a w a y**!!!!”

Yup, ouches for the entire crew. As long as Magilou doesn’t get Velvet, they will hear this 20 more times, each time getting worse and more intense as the despair fills the witch until she becomes a daemon from RNJesus failing her.

And yup. Rest in pieces crew. She was out of diamonds. “FUCK MEEEEEEE NEW YEARS VELVETTTTTT!” She screamed, which was ironic as Velvet couldn’t be assed to listen to Magilou’s rages of despair after the third time and thought that fucking Eleanor in their room was much better use of their time.

Magilou had given up. She saw the purple wisps around her but didn’t care, until she popped into the home menu and saw the shiny (5) on the presents box. Curious, she opened it.

“BLESS THE GODS!”

She had hope. There was a chance.

She could do it. Keyword ‘could’.

All still relying on the 0.749% chance though.

She went to the dreaded page and tapped the 10 pull button which was dyed purple from all the malevolence Magilou transferred from her fingers to the game through some magical transfer method. Apparently malevolence wasn’t just limited to living beings.

She breathed in.

Two 5* and a mirrage!  
A 3* cracked and broke into a mirrage!

She closed her eyes and slowly opened them and glanced at the sentence. “Mr Right....... FUCK OFF MILEENA!”  
Yes indeed it was ex-clipse Mileena once again.

She continued. There was still hope...  
The 5* cracked too!  
She repeated the process.  
“Oh come on Yuri. I don’t need you.”

It was the last one. The one which was a mirrage from the start.  
She put her hands together and somewhat chanted “hora hora hora hora hora...” Anyone walking past mistakened her to be some sort of religious believer for some low lying Empyrean, which was partly true, if Velvet was an Empyrean.

“Come on, hold still for just a bit longer.”

“ **MOTHERFUCKING HOLY GOD I LOVE YOU EMPYREANS I LOVE EVERYONE. I LOVE MY PARENTS WHO LEFT ME AND SOLD ME OFF TO A FREAK SHOW. I LOVE MELCHIOR WHO RAISED ME AND ALSO LEFT ME TO DIE AFTER FAILING TO SUCCEED HIM. I LOVE EVERYONE AND EVEN THOSE WHO ABUSED ME AS I GOT TO WHERE I AM NOW IN LIFE AND I L O V E Y O U V E L V E T A N D E L E A N O R AND I WILL FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.** ”

“Um... Good to hear I guess?” Velvet stood beside her, the two returned from their heated session to see what the commotion Magilou created was about.

“I suppose we won’t be woken up halfway through the night anymore?” Eleanor said, grabbing Velvet’s arm and intertwined their fingers.

“Well we’ll have to see about that. Empyreans how I pray that the other me doesn’t do something stupidly significant and I get myself another mirrage.”

“Help me Velvet... I need Eleanor’s second mirrage toooooooo! But it was limited for a collab event...”

At that one moment, everyone, including the Katz and dogs on the streets of the entirety of Midgand had facepalmed.

* * *

 

A/N:  Well here’s my pull which actually caused me to write this bullshit of a fanfic again lol.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright Magilou is basically me lol. Except that she’s way more dedicated than me lol. I don’t have that many Dia.
> 
> I hope that this is the end of my suffering for New Years Velvet. I don’t mind more copies though~ 
> 
> And I also hope that this is the end of this bullshit of a fanfic too


End file.
